Kazakhstan: Rules of the Road

Bobi and I live in Santa Fe, where many drivers seem to be either oblivious to their surroundings or just plain incompetent. But after a few weeks in Karaganda we realized how dull Santa Fe's driving is. Here are some rules of the road for Kazakhstan, as deduced from the back seat of an Audi.

Rules

Seat belts look stupid. Do not wear them.[1]

Horns are communications devices, not just blame throwers. A short "toot toot" means "I'm behind you / just to the left of you," or (when addressing a pedestrian) "I've just arrived to drive you somewhere". A short but full honk means "I don't care if there's oncoming traffic. Turn already." A long blast means "Thank you for stalling your vehicle on the road. Even though you cannot move, get out of my way!"

All vehicles have the right of way over pedestrians. Always.

A pedestrian within a cross-walk, if she or he will impede your motion, is a fair target for honking. If you can possibly squeeze through in front of the pedestrian, e.g. while turning right through a cross-walk, do so. Use short horn toots to further intimidate the pedestrian.

Almaty Amendment: If a pedestrian is within a cross-walk which has no dedicated traffic light, stomp on the accelerator and see if you can tap his or her kneecaps with your bumper.

If a pedestrian is walking away from you in an apartment courtyard, and if she or he veers within five feet of your intended lane of travel, honk at him or her.

Painted lane markers are for making the road pretty. Put the car any place that will give you the biggest advantage. If another driver might interfere with your plans, honk at him or her.

If you are at a red light but can see that the light may turn green within the next minute, start creeping into the intersection. If the light will turn green within the next 15 seconds, get a move on.[2]

Other Observations

Some cross-walks are displaced about 30 feet from the nearest intersection, and are equipped with their own traffic lights. This can be a blessing for pedestrians, as it means they need to expect danger from only two main directions.

There are lots of collisions on multi-lane freeways. We saw five or six accidents on the stretch of Gogol which runs past the Afghan war memorial. I'm not sure if they all involved left turns or not.

The preceding may imply that Karaganda roads are full of reckless drivers. But the situation is more complex. For example our driver, Vladimir, obeyed most of the rules noted above. But he also shifted gears much more smoothly than I ever will. And no matter how abrupt his initial braking needed to be in order to avoid a collision, he always modulated the brake pressure so that we came to a stop with no forward/backward bobbing of the head. In short, he was aggressive and good.

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[1] Actually, I admire this "rule". Despite my exaggeration, seat belts are a personal choice in Kazakhstan.

I remember when seat belt laws were passed in Ohio, by then-governor Richard Celeste (D). He spoke at my university shortly afterwards and took questions from the audience. When asked why he had chipped away yet another personal freedom, the Governor explained that he had passed the weakest law possible. ("You can't be pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt, but you can be cited for not wearing one if you are pulled over for another reason.") And he explained that, if he had not passed some form of seat belt law, the Reagan administration would have denied highway funds to the state of Ohio.

[2] This is almost the exact opposite of the rule in Santa Fe. There, if the light has turned red any time within the past 15 seconds you should just keep going, la lala lala.